I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
