Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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