can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
