You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize