I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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