I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
