i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
