it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
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