smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
