Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
