I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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