We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
