there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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