before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
