woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
