Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I didn't notice because vodka
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
