i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
