why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Randomize
