Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
