stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
