no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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