I think i peed on brittanys purse
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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