i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
