dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
