i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
