I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
