Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
