I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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