Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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