My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
