I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
My vagina just clenched in fear
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
