Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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