eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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