you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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