And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
