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• (906): View more from Michigan

  didnt we say no more talking to eachother

  (906): View more from Michigan

  it will help you get over me i promise

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  im horny

  (906): View more from Michigan

  ok i will unlock the door

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.

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• (637): View more from

  I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  that happened

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.

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• (212): View more from New York

  I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.

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