I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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