I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
