; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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