This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
