That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
