garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
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