You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
