May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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