tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize