stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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