Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
thus making me awesome and them whores
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Randomize
