The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
