I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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