come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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