Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
