If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
