His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize