idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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