Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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