I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
