At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
