i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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