lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
