'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
