I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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