Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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