I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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