Its about making memories worth repressing
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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