My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
