so that wasnt chicken after all
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
We need a shit load of segways right now
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
