I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
